I held on to Ahmad’s number for a week, before getting up with enough courage to call him. I waited til my mom fell to sleep, and then gave him a dial. *ring ring*
“Hello?” a gruff, masculine voice responded
“Yeah. Can I speak to Ahmad?” I asked, in a soft spoken tone
“Yes. Who is this?” he proceeded. Sounding as if he was trying to recognize the voice on the other end
“My name is Latisha. You gave me your number in the…”
Before I could continue, he interrupted me in mid sentence.
“Oooooh yeah. I didn’t think you’d even call me. What took you so long?” Ahmad asked
“I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t sure what to do” I answered. I had lost the number at first, and I thought I’d never get a chance to call him at all.
“So…how old are you?” I inquired
“I’m 31 sweetheart” he said. But this time, in a more serious, and very straightforward tone of voice. “And how old are you?”
I couldn’t get my mind off the fact that I was on the other end of the phone with a 31 year old man. I assured myself that perhaps he had mistaken me for being older. I mean…people did think I was at least a sophomore in high school.
“I’m 13. My birthday just passed two months ago”, I continued. “Oh my god. You’re too old”
“You know they say age ain’t nothing but a number”, Ahmad answered back
Before I knew it, we had been on the phone for about 15 mins. I was sure my mom would wake up, and catch me in mid conversation. She was a light sleeper. I wondered if she ever got a good night’s rest. Like something just never sat right on her spirit. I informed Ahmad that he wouldn’t be able to call me himself. He told me about how he’d change his voice to sound younger, but I didn’t think it would fly well with my mom. I revealed that I really didn’t have any phone privileges. So I’d try to call him as much as I could.
It felt so refreshing to finally have someone to talk to. Ahmad became my new best friend. He told me that our relationship was to be kept between us. And our conversations a secret. We didn’t talk about the same things my friends from school and I talked about. He said, that’s how I should know that what we have is special. And pretty soon, things got even more intimate.
“So L. Let me ask you a question. You got a lil boyfriend at school?” he asked
“Naw. There’s a couple of boys that really like me though. Well… there’s one particular boy named Jeffery. I like him a lot”, I answered
There was a long pulse on the other end of the phone. I thought maybe we had disconnected. Or that my mom may have picked up the other house phone from her room. I tip toed out my room and peeked through the crack of her bedroom door. She had just rolled over. Still snoring. So I turned around and tip toed back. I learned Ahmad really didn’t like the sound of that.
“You’re not allowed to get close to them or talk to them”, he commanded
As surprised as I was, I assured him that it wouldn’t happen. I figured maybe he knew something I didn’t. That maybe they were no good for me, or meant bad business.
“So… are you having sex?”, he inquired
“Naw. I’m still a virgin”, I answered back
He laughed. “Don’t lie to me. Ain’t no way in the world you still a virgin. Not with all those hips and that ass. Some nigga gotta be hittin’ dat”, he declared
“I’m for real”, I said. “And how do you think I’m not a virgin? I’m only 13. Who would I be having sex with?”, I continued
Ahmad let out a deep sigh. “Shiiiit. Girls out her having sex at 11 and 12. I thought maybe you was too”, he replied
“L. Let me ask you another question. Do you play with yourself? Like…do you masturbate?” he asked
“No”, I said. “Why would I wanna do that?”
“Cause it feels good. You’ve heard of the clit right?”
“Next time, I want you to play with that pussy. And I want you to think about Ahmad when you do it. Can you do that for me L?” he instructed
“Yeah. I’ll do it”, I answered
“And after you do it. I want you to call me, and tell me all about it. That’s what I expect to hear from you about next time. Aight sweetie? Now I’m about to get back to work. You take real good care of yourself while I’m gone”, Ahmad said to me, as he ended the call.
The feeling of nervousness overcame my body. I was about to do something I had never done before. It felt like I had to speak in front of the whole school at the assembly hall. I mentally prepared myself for what was to come in the days ahead, as I hung up the phone and drifted off to sleep.